It’s safe to assume that nearly everyone has heard one thing or another about soccer football by now, but most of them are casual fans at best. But what about those who are incredibly passionate about the game but are struggling to get a concrete grasp of what exactly goes on in the footballing world? Well, this article is for them (and anyone else who just wants to catch up with the new season’s narrative).
First thing’s first, you need to know how the league works. There are 20 teams in the Premier League, and each team plays every other team twice across the whole season, one at their own home stadium and the other at their opponent’s stadium. If you do the math (or just google it like a normal human being), that turns out to 38 games for each team. A win is worth 3 points, a draw is worth 1 point and a loss amounts to 0 points (surprise, surprise!). Whichever team finishes with the highest point tally after 38 games is crowned champion. In case of multiple teams having the same amount of points, the team with the highest goal difference (difference between the number of goals scored and goals conceded) wins.
The top 4 teams qualify for the UEFA Champions League, a prestigious European competition, and the 5th and 6th placed teams qualify for the UEFA Europa League which is the competition inferior to the Champions league. The 7th placing team qualifies for the UEFA Conference League, which is a relatively new competition and is in turn inferior to the Europa league. (Its basically for small clubs, but don’t tell that to West Ham?)
Also, the teams that finish below 16th are relegated i.e they drop to the lower league and the top 3 teams from the lower league move into the premier league each season.
Ok ok, I can already envision the veteran fans cringing right now, so I’ll stop referring to football clubs as “teams”. Anyways, now that you’ve got a grasp of how everything goes, it’s time to get familiar with the historic clubs that make the league what it is. Let’s start with defending champions Manchester City, a club that has been flying high ever since it got purchased by Sheikh Mansour (money really can solve a lot huh). Having recently won the UEFA Champions League and with 5 titles in the last 6 years, their legendary manager Pep Guardiola really has created a dynasty that will likely last for years to come. The “Citizens” have a well-rounded squad and with players like Ruben Dias, De Bruyne and Erling Haaland, they are looking to defend their title with full force. 5 games into the 23/24 season, they boast a perfect record so far—with Haaland firing on all cylinders, it is difficult to imagine anyone giving them a real challenge.
Next up, we have last season’s runners up, Arsenal. It was a real heartbreak for them losing the title race to City in the last few matchdays, but with new signings such as Kai Havertz and Declan Rice to bolster their midfield, they are looking to bounce back and once again give City a run for their money. It’s certainly been a while since “The Gunners” last won the league in 2003/04, which they did without losing a single game. They are to date the only club to do so, and Mikel Arteta, their current manager, will certainly be looking to emulate that season again in one way or another.
Moving on to surprises, Newcastle United finishing 3rd is certainly up there. Normally a mid-table side, “The Magpies” under manager Eddie Howe shocked the footballing world with their remarkable consistency and quality last season. They qualified for the Champions league last season, and are looking to do so this season as well, although their start to this season isn’t ideal. After signing young italian midfielder Sandro Tonali, 6 points from a potential 15 was not what they were expecting. Nevertheless, it is far too early to write them off.
Premier league royalty put into two words would be Manchester United. Having won the league a record 20 times, “The Red Devils” (please don’t interpret that religiously?) under ambitious manager Erik Ten Hag look to make a long awaited comeback since last winning the league in 2013. With signings such as goalkeeper Andre Onana, midfielder Mason Mount and striker Rasmus Højlund, their line-up is full of young, ambitious players who are looking to make a statement. As usual, there is much speculation on this being their year or just another failure.
Coming next, Liverpool. Jurgen Klopp’s side was plagued with injuries last season, especially the midfield, and coupled with the fact that many of their key players were aging, they failed to qualify for the Champions League. It’s only upwards from here on out for “The Reds” though, who have revamped their midfield with electrifying players such as Macallister, Endo and Szoboszlai (now THAT’s a tongue twister soh-boh-slah-ee). Having won all but one game coming into the new season, it looks like “Citypool”, the ongoing rivalry between Manchester City and Liverpool for the title, is back.
Sneaking into the last available Europa league spot, we have Brighton. “The Seagulls” have also had a trajectory similar to Newcastle under their recently appointed manager Roberto De Zerbi. They have blown away everyone with their strategy of unearthing talents for incredibly cheap prices compared to what those players cost now after showcasing the world how good they are. Mitoma, Ferguson, Lamptey, and Estupinan are just some of the players forming the young core of the club. They look menacing as ever, having only lost one game till now, and will be gunning to cause another huge upset by qualifying for the Champions league.
Lastly we have Unai Emery’s Aston Villa, which had a real turnaround midway through last season, going from fighting relegation to qualifying for European football (yes, you read that correctly). Currently occupying the same 7th spot as last season, they will certainly be aspiring to at least retain it. New arrivals such as Diaby, Tielmans and Pau Torres will be crucial if they look to qualify for the Europa league.
Outside the top ten, the potential clubs to keep an eye certainly include Chelsea, who continued their absurd spending in a desperate attempt to reclaim their place amongst the elites (someone stop them, they’ve already spent San Marino’s GDP on transfers?). We also have Brentford, a side known to cause upsets. “The Bees” were the only club to sting City twice last season (pun intended) and can certainly put on a show if the cards play into their favour. Occupying the relegation spots, we have the incredibly historic club Everton, who narrowly avoided relegation last season and will be looking to improve on that this season (the bar has never been lower). We also have newly promoted Burnley, a familiar face in the premier league, and Luton town, who are their complete opposites having stepped into the premier league for the first time ever.
All in all, this season will be one of the most entertaining seasons in a long time, with the difference in quality between clubs further decreasing. It’s going to be all about mentality and fine margins, with seemingly insignificant incidents having dire consequences. Will City retain the title or will we see someone else crowned champion? Only time will tell. For now, let’s just watch the carnage unfold. This is football, the beautiful game.
By Ali Raza
Writer (Team 2023-2024)
Note: the views expressed in the article solely belong to the writer and do not reflect TLC.